At the Olympic Games, a girl bumps into a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.
“Excuse me,” says the girl to the man. “Are you a pole vaulter?”
“No,” says the man, “I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
At an Olympic Games opening ceremony, the president of the country who was giving a speech started this way: “Oh,” he says. “Oh, oh, oh ...”
An aide nudges him, “Mr President, stop,” he says. “You’re reading the Olympic symbol.”
“I have a problem with that silver medal. It’s like, ‘Congratulations, you almost won. Of all the losers, you’re the number one loser. No one lost ahead of you’.”
The final round of the hammer throw event comes down to match between a Russian soldier, a Bulgarian farmer, and Larry, who lives with his parents.
The Russian throws first: 85 meters. Interviewed later, he says, “I’m from a military family, which gives me discipline.”
Then the Bulgarian throws: 88 meters. He tells reporters, “I’m from a farming family. This gives me strength.”
It’s Larry’s turn. He slings the hammer 95 metres, winning gold! Later, he explains, “I’m from a long line of lazy people, and I was taught, ‘If anyone ever puts a hammer in your hand, throw it as far away as you can.’”
Why is the track team so talkative? Because they’re always discus-ing.
Why isn’t sun tanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
Where does the track team keep its medals? In the pole vault.